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Woman Warned by Strange Man During First Date: "Run!

Stranger Slips Woman ”Red Flags” Note When Her Date Went to the Bathroom

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Published Aug. 21 2021, 8:50 a.m. ET

Source: Twitter

To say that dating has its ups and downs is a light way of putting it: it's a straight-up cesspool with tiny shimmers of hope. It's those awful experiences, however, that make the prospect of potentially finding someone feels that much more exhilarating. Even when we think there's a shot that this person might be "the one" we go nuts. When our phone goes off, we hope it's them. We care a little bit more about our appearance when we head out for the date and the butterflies never stop.

And then either two things happen: they keep things going and we're more and more excited to spend time with them and get that warm and fuzzy sensation all over again, and again. Or something happens that completely ruins whatever potential magic was there.

For Twitter user Hadia__S, it's unknown whether or not she had that warm and fuzzy feeling prior to this first date, but we do know there definitely wasn't any magic by the time it was over.

In fact, there was such a dearth of magic that at least one other individual in the coffee shop where she was having her date picked up on big "red flag" energy coming off the guy who was sitting across from her.

Red flags that were so glaring, this stranger decided to write a note and secretly hand it to Hadia__S urging the woman to "Run."

Source: Twitter

He wrote the note on the back of a CVS receipt, which means he could've probably penned a chapter of a Tolstoy novel if he wanted to. However, the message was loud and clear, and Hadia seemed to agree.

I had coffee with a guy yesterday. When he went to the bathroom, the gay guy sitting behind me passed me this note 😂😭😂😭 pic.twitter.com/LgIVsrvlwx

— H.S. (@Hadia__S) August 15, 2021

Ok, I’ll share more..while trying to remain as vague as possible. But we did not see eye to eye on the Da Baby situation 😂 and he’s a Kevin Samuels fan. I had to look him up and was immediately taken aback lmao

— H.S. (@Hadia__S) August 16, 2021

"I had coffee with a guy yesterday. When he went to the bathroom, the gay guy sitting behind me passed me this note," she commented in the tweet which contained an image of the note.

I recognized the red flags, but I wasn’t in danger, so I stayed, because of course I had to debate him. I’m sure my guardian angel was exhausted and was like “BITCH, LEAVE!”

— H.S. (@Hadia__S) August 16, 2021

There were a few other GLARING red flags that I won’t mention, but don’t worry, I would have recognized them with or without the note. But the note was greatly appreciated and added some laughs to my night. There won’t be a second date 😂

— H.S. (@Hadia__S) August 16, 2021

One Twitter user commented, "I can’t help but wonder how bright red those flags were for a complete stranger [to] notice AND write a warning note. Big yikes."

reminds me of this tiktok pic.twitter.com/Qr0H105bAb

— elizabeth ʚ♡ɞ LORDE LOCKDOWN!! (@pastelparasite_) August 15, 2021

What kind of psychopath randomly capitalizes the last letter of the sentence

— Reid Wallech (@Reid_Wallech) August 15, 2021

Hadia confirmed that the red flags were "As bright as my red nails." And what were those exact red flags? DaBaby's homophobic remarks were a point of contention between the two and the dude was also a self-professed fan of Kevin Samuels, who often discusses gender roles and dating.

A bit torn here. On one hand, it's nice to know people are looking out for each other. On the other hand, despite the good intentions, it's a little patronising, almost, ahem, patriarchal.

— Corrina Connor (@corrinacellist) August 16, 2021

How did you know he was gay? Was he wearing a sign?

If yiur caffe date was away why did he have to use a note? Why not just tell you with his voice?

Isn’t it disconcerting that this guy was so intently eavesdropping?

Yes red flags.

— john trenouth (@niblettes) August 16, 2021

"I recognized the red flags, but I wasn’t in danger, so I stayed, because of course I had to debate him. I’m sure my guardian angel was exhausted and was like ‘B****, LEAVE!'"

I can't help but wonder how bright red those flags were for a complete stranger notice AND write a warning note. Big yikes.

— Harvest of sighs (@MissBleuFour) August 15, 2021

Idc what anyone says, mind my business pls. Sometimes I don't be minding it for myself 🙏🏾

— Koffi Olomide stan account (@TitenUpYoungin) August 15, 2021

She went on to say that there were some other "GLARING" red flags she didn't want to mention so as to not call public attention to these particular issues. But she appears to consider them severe.

Judging by a good portion of the comments on this post, a lot of men are fearful that their red flags are easily detected.

— Amanda Mitchell (@Divamanda23) August 16, 2021

Why not just turn around and say that instead of writing it down?

— Screaming Black Dolphins (@BlacknScreaming) August 15, 2021

There were a few other GLARING red flags that I won’t mention, but don’t worry, I would have recognized them with or without the note." Even though Hadia was pretty sure that this date was a dud for her, she still appreciate the stranger's willingness to look out for someone else.

Men who date men know men.. you might wanna listen girl, ijs pic.twitter.com/wZCX8iAdZw

— 🍊 (@thatdamnbrook) August 15, 2021

imagine being bothered by somebody you don't even know 😂

— chris vibeswell™️ (@chrisvibesowell) August 15, 2021

"But the note was greatly appreciated and added some laughs to my night." Hadia also added that there definitely was not a second date between the two, but at least she was able to get a viral tweet out of the entire ordeal, so that's got to count for something, right?

I told my sister and my best friend about the dudes they were dating.
Neither of them listened to me.
My sister denies I told her anything.
My best friend still to this day wishes she had of listened.
I don't care about fine, d*ck or money when you see them red flags RUN ‼️‼️‼️

— Marq Chance'lor Smith (@chancelor_marq) August 16, 2021

You said, "I would have recognized them with or without the note. But the note was greatly appreciated and added some laughs to my night,”

Added some laughs to your night!!??
That man may have very possibly saved your life or prevented a period of abuse. Be thankful.

— DonnieDarko's Rabbit ©️ 🌊🌊🇺🇸🇺🇦🏳️‍🌈⚛️ (@ddarko1072) August 18, 2021

Some of the responses to the tweet were hilarious and made a really good point, like the fact that the individual wrote the note on the back of a CVS receipt: "He gave up a CVS receipt to save you. Not only did he risk his personal business exposed, he gave up thousands in coupons. Heed his words."

A friend of my was dating a guy and I felt a weird vibe from him. I didn't tell her anything and later, they did her wrong and I felt guilt because I didn't warn her... 😭

— Jeem Malamu (@JeemMalamu) August 18, 2021

Men really think I wrote the “red flag” note and made the story up…instead of acknowledging they exhibit red flags that a WHOLE coffee shop could pick up on.

— H.S. (@Hadia__S) August 18, 2021

Another called it a clear case of "allyship" because it's 2021 and everyone is coming up with fancy terms for simple phrases like "looking out for someone."

"This is what allyship looks like not that nonsense of saying/doing nothing when you can clearly see that the man is dangerous, then coming on here to cry ‘not all men.'"

None of my friends did this for me when I got divorced 😞 https://t.co/JSJI8juzun

— H.S. (@Hadia__S) August 16, 2021

LMFAO 🤣🤣 https://t.co/vGwxZ4XtJc

— H.S. (@Hadia__S) August 16, 2021

However there were some folks on Twitter who didn't think that a stranger in the coffee shop "butting in" was such a good thing: "Tell him to mind his business," one user commented.

Him hearing the red flags pic.twitter.com/PtV7erMMPd

— sweet like kokoa (@kare_mae) August 15, 2021

I think it’s fake. It’s too short to be a CVS receipt

— Carolyn Monaghan 🍍🧘🏼‍♀️🧜‍♀️📚🇨🇦 (@fitter_knitter) August 15, 2021

Comments were then made about the characters of users who either questioned the veracity of Hadia's note or why a stranger would do something like that as having "Red Flags" of their own: "If all the straight men in the comments weren’t the same type of dude this gay man was warning her about they’d mind their own business. if you know it’s not about you then move on. but you know.. a hit dog hollers."

Can't tell you how many female friends I've tried to warn about red flags that they didn't heed.

— no-name (@EmployerFoundMe) August 16, 2021

What do you think about the note Hadia received? Have you ever witnessed a date going so poorly that you just had to intervene? Or would you just mind your own beeswax?

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Reinaldo Massengill

Update: 2024-09-17